


Walk Like a Man

by Meraki (ParisAmy)



Series: Re:Secrets [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 06:16:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4655793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParisAmy/pseuds/Meraki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘And what’s all this?’ Derek points to the cart which contains a magazine, bubblegum,  a toothbrush and toothpaste,  lube, a box of Lucky Charms, a tub of ice cream, two cans of Mountain Dew, a box of condoms, and a carton of milk. ‘Do you need all this?’</p><p>'No.' Stiles shrugs his shoulders. ‘Maybe.' </p><p>Or, Stiles could be embarrassed to buy condoms and lube.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Walk Like a Man

‘Stiles?’

Stiles whips his head around at the sound of Derek’s voice. 

‘Yep?’ 

Derek throws his arms up in the air causing the keys to his Camaro to jingle from where they are being held in his right hand. ‘What’s taking so long?’ 

‘Um …' Stiles drops the cherry flavoured Jell-O he had been holding into the cart. 'Well - ’ 

‘And what’s all this?’ Derek points to the cart which contains a magazine, bubblegum, a toothbrush and toothpaste, lube, a box of Lucky Charms, a tub of ice cream, two cans of Mountain Dew, a box of condoms, and a carton of milk. ‘Do you need all this?’

'No.' Stiles shrugs his shoulders. ‘Maybe.' 

Derek glares at him.

'Fine,' Stiles sighs in defeat. 'No, I don't need all of this.' 

Derek raises an eyebrow. ‘So you’re just trying to pretend that what you really came in here to buy, isn’t what you came in here to buy.’ 

‘Exactly,' Stiles nods his head. 'And now I’m kinda y’know building up the courage to go to the register.’

‘Stiles, I’ve been sat in the car for nearly an hour!’ 

‘Dude, the lady at the register has been serving me and my dad since I was five. Five, Derek! And now she’s got to see me buying condoms and lube. Also,’ Stiles holds up his index finger, 'what if she tells my dad?'

'Why would she tell your dad?' 

'I don't know Derek, I'm hypothesising!'

‘You didn’t see her when you came in?’ 

‘Uh no, I was walking like a man, Derek! I had a stride, I had a purpose.’ 

‘Okay,’ Derek grins and removes the condoms and lube from the cart. ‘Let’s go.’ 

Derek strides ahead and when he reaches the end of the aisle he turns to see Stiles still stood by the cart where he left him and shuffling from foot to foot. 

Stiles rubs the back of his head. ‘Uh … maybe I should put this stuff back while you go to the register.’ 

‘I think you’ve been in here long enough.’ Derek rolls his eyes when Stiles doesn’t move. ‘Let’s go, Bruce Springsteen.’ 

The woman at the register greets them with a: ‘Stiles, sweetie, how are you?’ 

‘Hi Mrs Foster, I’m okay thank you. How are you and Mr Foster?’ Stiles replies, reaching into the cart and placing the items on the counter. Stiles is barely able to suppress a wince as Derek adds to condoms and lube into the mix. 

Mrs Foston begins to scan the items. Stiles breathes a small sigh of relief as either Mrs F doesn't notice the items Derek has added or she's taken a code of silence. Like a Doctor. Or she's not bothered. 

‘We’re both very well, thank you honey.’ 

The beep of the items being scanned is loud in Stiles' ear. Until it’s not. Mrs Foster fumbles with the box of condoms. Stiles blushes a deep red that spreads to the tips of his ears as his eyes fix on the small italicized phrase ‘ribbed for her pleasure’. 

Derek follows Stiles' eyeline and grins. 

Stiles leans against Derek's shoulder and whispers, 'I hope you're enjoying this.' 

Stiles returns his gaze to the incident and watches, part in fascination and part in horror, as Mrs Foston wiggles the box of condoms every angle and yet it still doesn’t beep. Stiles groans. Mrs Foston grimaces. Derek grins, secure in the knowledge that for once he is the least awkward person in a social situation. 

‘Sorry boys, I’m going to have to get a price check.’ Mrs Foston reaches for the tannoy. ‘Can I get a price check on a box of Trojan Stimulations Intense Ribbed Condoms.’ 

Mrs Foston continues to scan the last remaining items. Stiles turns to Derek and whispers, ‘From now on, you buy all things sex related.’

Derek crosses his arms and grins so wide all his teeth are on show. The smug bastard. ‘Aw, but this has been so fun.’ 

A man in the store's uniform walks over. ‘$12.99 Sarah.’ 

‘Thanks Mike.’ Mrs Foston keys the amount in and reads out the total to pay. 

Stiles is pulling a bunch of bills from his wallet when - ‘Hey, Stiles! What are you guys doing here?’ 

The Sheriff saddles up to the register and looks from Stiles to Derek and back to Stiles. Stiles’ eyes widen. Derek’s face turns a shade paler. 

‘Just hanging out. In the grocery store. Y’know, with my buddy.’ Stiles points a thumb over his shoulder. ‘Derek. Totally normal. Nothing to see here, please move along,' Stiles laughs.

Derek raises a hand in greeting. ‘Sir.’ 

The Sheriff nods and rests his hands on his utility belt. ‘Derek.’ Then he turns to Mrs Foston, points at Stiles and jokes: ‘I hope he isn’t giving you any trouble.’

‘Haha funny dad! None! Right Mrs F?’ Stiles throws wide innocent eyes her way. 

‘No trouble at all.' Mrs Foston laughs. 'It’s always lovely to see you both. Stiles is a lovely boy.’ 

Derek snorts and covers it with a cough. 

‘Not like some of the hoodlums that come in here,’ Mrs Foston shakes her head and the Sheriff nods in agreement. He’s had a few calls to this place involving kids stealing things. 

‘Anywaaaay ... what are you doing here? Stiles chuckles humorlessly. ‘No crime to fight today huh?’ 

‘Lunch break.’ 

Stiles makes a show of looking at his non-existent watch. He blows out a breath and raises his eyebrows at the imaginary time. ‘Well lunch is nearly over dad, better get back to the grind.’ 

Derek elbows Stiles in the side. 

Stiles scowls at Derek. ‘Ow, dude!’

‘Shut up,' Derek grunts.

The Sheriff squints at them both and takes a small step back so he can get a proper look at their faces. ‘What’s up with you two? You’re acting weird.’

‘Weird? Us?' Stiles hooks an arm around Derek's shoulder. 'I don’t know what you’re talking about old man.’ 

‘Well, weirder than usual,’ the Sheriff frowns. He glances into the paper bag and sees the box of condoms nestled on top of the pile of things and his frown deepens. He looks from Stiles to Derek and back to Stiles. ‘Wait, why are you buying condoms?’


End file.
